Death and Birth. It seems pretty simple, I guess. Graduations, Birthdays, Weddings, Baptisms, Funerals. All celebrate the simple fact that we (at least the ones celebrating) are alive and growing and changing, and also mark the realization that time is passing, that today will one day be all over. Cherry Blossoms and "Time's Winged Chariot."
OK, but there is something a little strange about all this. No one can clearly identify the exact moment of most beginnings or ends. You have no memory of being born, and there is a good chance you won't be too sure of the moment of your death. None of us know very much about birth or death directly, and I have a hard time believing anyone I've ever met is really too sure what comes before or after. We are not even sure what will happen tomorrow. I suppose that is why it seems so interesting (and frightening or compelling or whatever), but it certainly is hard to say when one thing ends and another begins until long after the fact.
We humans tend to exaggerate the boundaries of things in order to see more subtle patterns more clearly. We imagine sharp edges, demarcations, starts and stops, beginnings and ends to help us notice things better. This is true when looking at the science of perception, and also true as we try to attribute meaning to things. Sometimes we exaggerate the beginnings and endings or even make them up altogether. How does it feel to be one year older? Pretty much like yesterday felt, just with a present or two.
Of course there are big changes that can shape the course of your life, but these are usually unpredictable and capricious and are best ridden like a big cresting wave with a mix of abandon and trepidation. But these tectonic shifts are rare; day to day you are mostly the same person, and so are most of the people you care about.
I hope you enjoy your celebrations and by all means mull over the Big Starts and Stops, but don't be too intimidated and don't let yourself believe that these ritualized events really represent stages of your life. You are not the school you graduated from or the school you are going to. You are not your SAT score or your batting average. You are not your age or your IQ or your income. You are what you do, right now, and you are made day by day and little by little in every seemingly insignificant choice and decision you make. Every joke you tell and even every text you send (and that is a lot). So enjoy being with people you love and share your fondest memories and aspirations, but don't get too overwhelmed trying to guess what is to come. Whatever it is, you will mostly be up to the challenge (and if not you will do what the rest of us do, and fake it).
